Well, it’s been a while since I’ve written on here. I have sat down to write several times, but stared at a blank page and then left, with no words to inspire or encourage. I still don’t really have anything original to write. It’s not as if God is not teaching me things, for I think I have learned more, seen more sin, and been pruned more than I have in a long time.
And perhaps that is partly why there are no words. Because I feel empty and bare, like a tree that is stripped of its leaves in winter. The season that I thought was full of joy, hope, and laughter has turned to a barren one. Yet the strange part of it is that there is still comfort, and joy, and life. It is simply more hidden. It’s been a time between the Lord and I. At times there have been tears, at times anger and bitterness. I’ve wondered at what on earth God is up to. I’ve given in to self-pity. I’ve felt deep grief, pain, and loss. I’ve been frustrated at hearing judgments made or the situation misunderstood without others taking the time to listen. Yet I’ve also been in awe of God’s mercy, protection, and sovereignty. How He has taken a very painful situation and is using it for His good purposes, some of which I will probably never see in this life. He has used godly people to speak necessary truth into my life, and then given me the ears to hear it. He has provided abundantly for me in practical ways. He has given me good friends to be a support and comfort. And most importantly, He has given me Himself. He is my Beloved, and He will never leave me or forsake me.
I came across some passages from Psalm 50 that stood out to me:
“Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving,
and perform your vows to the Most High,
and call upon me in the day of trouble;
I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.
The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me;
to one who orders his way rightly
I will show the salvation of God!”
Giving thanks to God is a sacrifice that pleases Him, because it gives honor to Him. It acknowledges that from Him comes all things (Romans 11:36). We have nothing that we did not first receive from His hand (1 Cor 4:7). And when we offer thanks and praise to Him, it changes us. It helps us to take our eyes off of ourselves, and onto Him. And I don’t know about you, but I desperately need to do that. He is worthy, friends. Always.